Enough Already!

And YOU are too! 

I was listening to Brene Brown's Daring Greatly this morning while I was cleaning the bathroom and something struck a chord with me.  I've heard it before but I had to stop and write it down on my dry-erase board in the dining room.  "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone. I am ENOUGH." The bathroom didn't get spotless.  The worst was cleaned and then I got distracted with other mothering duties.  And you know what? That's ok.  I'm enough.  

And you are too.

Gold

You were walking on the moon, now you're feeling low oh oh....

What they said wasn't true, you're beautiful...

Sticks and stones break your bones, I know what you're feeling

Words like those, won't steal your glow, you're one in a million

This is for all the girls, boys all over the world

Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold

So hold your head up high, it's your time to shine

From the inside out it shows, you're worth more than gold

(Gold, gold, oh yeah yeah Gold, gold)

You're worth more than gold

(Gold, gold, oh yeah yeah Gold, gold)

Well everybody keeps score, afraid you're gonna lose

Just ignore, they don't know the real you

All the rain in the sky, can't put out your fire

out of all the stars out tonight, you shine brighter!

This is for all the girls, boys all over the world

Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold

So hold your head up high, it's your time to shine

From the inside out it shows, you're worth more than gold

(Gold gold, oh yeah yeah Gold, gold)

You're worth more than gold

(Gold gold oh yeah yeah Gold, gold)

So don't let anybody tell you that you're not loved

And don't let anybody tell you that you're not enough

Yeah there are days when we all feel like we're messed up

But the truth is that we're all diamonds in the rough

So don't be ashamed to wear your crown

You're a king you're a queen inside and out

You glow like the moon, you shine like the stars

This is for you, wherever you - are.....

Yeah..... yeah, eh, yeah

You're gold

this is for all the girls, boys all over the world

Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold

(So hold your head) So hold your head up high,

It's your time to shine

From the inside out it shows, you're worth more than gold

(Gold gold, oh yeah yeah Gold, gold)

You're worth more than gold

(Gold gold oh yeah yeah Gold, gold)

So don't be ashamed to wear your crown

You're a king you're a queen inside and out...

Songwriters

Muckala, Daniel John / Nicole, Britt / Cates, Jess Clayton

Read more: Britt Nicole - Gold Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

My heart is heavy with many worries and burdens.  They may not always be worries or burdens but right now they are.  I feel weighed down.  I feel unrest.

My husband's journey is his own but it affects mine greatly.  I'm trying to figure out what all of that means.  It's difficult to sort.  It hurts to think about.  It's extremely exhausting.

There were tidbits of answers to prayers.

To know I'm not forgotten.

To salve my wounded heart.

This song came to mind for a friend this morning and has remained with me all day.  Looks like I needed it too.

The song begins at :35 seconds. The BYU women's choir sang this in honor of a soldier killed in the line of duty.

I know not everyone is into choral music.  But there is something about these women, these sisters joining together to ask "is there no balm in Gilead?" that touches my heart.

Maybe it will touch yours too.


Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.


Text: Emma Lou Thayne, b. 1924. (c) 1973 IRI
Music: Joleen G. Meredith, b. 1935. (c) 1973 IRI

Roar

ROAR!!! 

I love this song.  (Not a fan of Katy's music video- video killed the radio star.) But THIS version- ROCKS! I picture it every time I hear this song and it lifts me. 


[Verse 1]
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

[Pre-Chorus]
You held me down, but I got up (hey)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready cause I had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar

[Post-Chorus]
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh (x3)
You’re gonna hear me roar

[Verse 2]
Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

Anniversary

It's been a year.

Maybe that's part of why I'm feeling emotional.

(Of course it could be hormones, or the full moon, or the fact that my mom left today...)

One year (and a few days) I found out that I had been lied to.

Again.



In that year I have spiralled deeper into myself, started counseling and meds, found warrior sisters, told my story, gone to camp, journaled, cried, opened my heart, been brave, apologized, trusted, (been hurt- but who hasn't), questioned, listened, been kind to myself, connected, disconnected, learned (oh my goodness the learning!), taught, held hands, reached out, asked for help and so many other things.

It's been a long year.

A long journey.

There are more long moments and years ahead.

But I am PROUD of where I am today and I have HOPE that the future is also moving in the right direction.