My heart is heavy with many worries and burdens. They may not always be worries or burdens but right now they are. I feel weighed down. I feel unrest.
My husband's journey is his own but it affects mine greatly. I'm trying to figure out what all of that means. It's difficult to sort. It hurts to think about. It's extremely exhausting.
There were tidbits of answers to prayers.
To know I'm not forgotten.
To salve my wounded heart.
This song came to mind for a friend this morning and has remained with me all day. Looks like I needed it too.
The song begins at :35 seconds. The BYU women's choir sang this in honor of a soldier killed in the line of duty.
I know not everyone is into choral music. But there is something about these women, these sisters joining together to ask "is there no balm in Gilead?" that touches my heart.
Maybe it will touch yours too.
Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.
Text: Emma Lou Thayne, b. 1924. (c) 1973 IRI
Music: Joleen G. Meredith, b. 1935. (c) 1973 IRI
Doughty means "marked by fearless resolution". Daffodils are a favorite of mine. Cheery. Bright. Welcoming.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
2 comments:
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Tears streaming down my face.....so touching. Music can be so healing! Especially when we feel so numb to all that is going on around us and we don't want to be. It's a blessing and a curse to feel numb. I am a wife of a sex addict. Been married almost 32 years. He wasn't addicted to porn. Didn't need it. He fantasized with almost everyone and had many affairs. I only knew about a few. I'm sure I will never know the debt to the lies and deception and that's probably for the better at this point. My story is too long to tell but my bishop devastated me 3 years ago. Instead of helping me and encouraging my journey to the temple again he told me he wanted me to wait for my husband, without even asking my husband where he was in his journey. (And still being on probation from his bishops court 7 years earlier) I had already suffered so much because of my husbands choices was my bishop really saying this to ME? My husband had no desire to work to get off probation let alone do the necessary things to earn his temple recommend. To say that my faith and hope was all but destroyed would be putting it mildly.I became inactive and have had a journey I couldn't have imagined. I recently found several blogs like yours that are helping inspire and uplift me. I need to move forward and find peace and healing. I've never had a real support system and because of all the affairs hated women, not men. They had stolen from me, they had turned my life upside down and made my life seem like a life of lies. Some were neighbors and ward members. Many his coworkers. Thank you for your courage to tell your story and share with others. Peace....I hope we can all feel more at peace by turning to each other and knowing we aren't alone in our journeys. I am so grateful for your post and this beautiful song you shared.
ReplyDeleteMay we all find a little bit of peace. Thank you for your comment. I hope you find strength in sisterhood.
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