A good bye of sorts

The only thing that we can be certain of in this life is change.  

It will always come. 

Often when you're not expecting it.

But this time I'm anticipating it. 

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this blog from here on out.  

I might add to it.

I might go private.

I might change it.

I might go public.

But I know that it will likely not stay the same. 

I'm not the same person I was two years ago when I started this blog.

I've grown. SO MUCH.

I've learned. Loved. Been hurt. Been vulnerable. Been wise. Made mistakes and moved on. 

I will never discount the time I've spent here.

It has been healing. 

And for that I am so much better for it.

But knowing that it exists and it is related to the LDS Church is becoming a point of anxiety for me.  Thus I will ask to be removed from the blogroll and will likely not have the same audience. 

And I'm okay with that. 

It's like starting a new journal for me. 

I breathe a sigh of relief as I close the one that has held me through my pain and quandaries and dreams.  Now it is time for me to begin anew and start forging a different path. 

Exciting and terrifying all at once. 

Like the first day of school. 

If you need to contact me I still check email: madagaea (at) gmail (dot com of course) 

Here's to new adventures. 

Tally Ho!

Stitches

I received some "love mail" today. You see, my dear Mom sent me a package and I got it today.  In it was this book: STITCHES: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair by Anne Lamott.  (click the link-I don't know how to link the picture)

Oh. My. Heavens.

SUCH a WONDERFUL book. Seriously.  Buy it.  I read it with an orange colored pencil in hand and highlighted MANY wonderful passages and quotes.  It's 96 pages long and yes, I read it all in the 6 hours I've had it (which if you do the math is on the slow-ish side of reading, but I promise you I took time to feed my family dinner, left over sloppy joes, and bathe the smallest wee one and put him to bed, sent the other brothers with Daddy on a project, I also let my kids watch Netflix this afternoon.)

My all time favorite quote, it has a heart by it in my book, and perhaps fellow sewers will love this as much as I do;

Sewing is the finger and heart equivalent of putting one foot in front of the other.

So many other quotes I want to share but there's a reason this one stands out.  Remember my Correspondence Course in Self Care? (If not click the link) Those strips of fabric were meticulously crafted into the beginnings of my very own quilt top.  See?

This pattern starts with sewing the strips together at angles to create the LONGEST STRIP OF FABRIC KNOWN TO MAN.  Seriously.  Football field length.  Then you fold in half sewing that strip to itself lengthwise.  Which takes FOREVER.  

This is me hard at work. Just when you think you can't sew another stitch, that you MUST be close to the end you look down and see that you're not even halfway.  It's disheartening.  So fifteen minutes later (not kidding and this is after an hour of making the longest strip known to man) you might have that first strip done.  From there on out it's easy peasy.  The rows double in size each time so the length you have to sew is 1/2 as long.  (Doesn't make sense, I know- but it's not a tutorial on how but the lesson learned.) The agony of that first strip is real.  It is hard.  It is exhausting and butt numbing.  And yet you plod on.  With hope that it won't turn out an ugly mess.  And guess what?  You were right all along.  It's wonderful and far different than you had ever imagined.  

And isn't that our journey through life?  Our journey as WoPAs? Trying to figure out how to plod on with this forever long stitch?  Having to unpick and resew when the pattern gets skiwampus? 

This is a metaphor that I will cling to.  For I've always been a pretty fearless sewer.  And now I'll start applying that to the rest of my life.  

One foot in front of the other. 

One stitch and then another.  Some unpicking.  Some re-sewing.  And a beautiful unknown pattern will reveal itself.