Why Daffodils?

Daffodils have always been a favorite of mine. Bright. Cheery. Hope. First to bloom. Summer is coming. Hang in there.

So when I'm in the depths of this mud we call depression a spot of hope sounds lovely. Like a dream.

Who am I?

2-4-6-Oh-1...?

Nah.

Just a Mom battling the urge to hide.

And before that I was a young woman with the same urge.

I always thought that the next phase of my life would not include depression.

When I was a teenager I thought surely going off to college would be enough excitement to stave off the darkness.

When I was in college, young and in love, I thought marriage would surely save me.

A baby- surely I can't be sad with a baby.  Boy was I wrong about that.  I got to experience a new form: Post Partum Depression, which is its own circle of hell.

Different medications.

Time.

Counseling.

Prayer and meditation.

All of these have helped.  But the shadow still follows me.  I'd like to shake it for good.

I started this blog to keep it separate from my family blog.  I can be honest about difficulties and challenges without fear of those keeping tabs on my family life thinking that I'm just crazy.  Because I'm not.

I get up, get the kids breakfast, make lunch, chauffeur to school, change diapers, make meals, do laundry, socialize with friends and family.  But there's still a pain there that I'm trying to heal.  It's all very complicated, as most things are, and this is a place for me to wander.  Because we know that not all who wander are lost.  This is my place to think out loud. A journal of sorts to connect with other people.

Scary? New? Exciting?

Yes.
So welcome.
To my musings.