Better Days.

Free baby food jars can change one's outlook.

No, really.

So today has been a better day anyway BUT I think I'm right about free crafting materials.  It gets the creative juices flowing and THAT is a good thing.

It's also payday and I am reminded again what a blessing it is to be able to take care of our family's needs.

I slept better last night.

I told my husband (reluctantly) that I couldn't sleep if he was touching me because I didn't trust him to behave.  Pretty crazy.  Crazy being that I chose to be honest about not trusting him.  THAT was huge for me.  A little step.  But a giant leap.

I'm in the process of reading Rhyll Croshaw's book What Can I do About Him Me? It is a hard reality that my husband is an addict and I am definitely mourning the loss of my "happily ever after" marriage.  I wasn't a dummy- I knew marriage is full of hard work and bumps.  I knew that pornography would be one of those bumps.  I didn't expect it to be Mt. Everest.  I want to get to a place where I can forgive (for my own selfish need to be free of that weight) and to do that I pray. A lot. Like, all the time.  I read.  I research.  I think. I process.  Sometimes I take a break from processing and just blast Kelly Clarkson, which the kids seem to think is awesome.  So today is better.  Maybe the rain is cleansing.  Maybe it is just fill up reservoirs for later.  But I'm so grateful today is better.